Mom Brain – the search for a cure

I spent a lot of time in school. I don’t talk about it much because I really question the wisdom of all the time and money I sunk into it, but I have two masters degrees. (Yeah I feel silly writing that actually, no one needs two of those.)
Anyway, I was a studying machine at one time. I mean I got mad that the library closed early on friday nights when I was in college. A friend asked me to show his freshman brother how to get around the library and do research because I knew it so well. It didn’t matter how nice or not nice a library was I would gather piles of academic books and sit at a desk for hours (I didn’t date much).
Flash forward to me with a newborn and a toddler. Pile of books, ha I’m lucky to get a bible verse in most days. On a good day a chapter of something, which sadly is often a parenting book so I can remember what the heck I’m supposed to be doing with a newborn.
I often feel I can’t focus on anything except maybe an episode of The Big Bang Theory after at least one kid is asleep. You see a bit of a woman’s brain gets taken up by all the people in her life, and an extra big piece gets taken up by each child. Even if I’m not with my kids, a piece of my brain is. I have felt nothing but scattered since Luke came. Holding the most basic conversation feels like a test sometimes. Did someone slip something in my drink? That’s how it feels a lot of the time! I have found having two small children to be approximately a bajillion times harder than having one 🙂
I’m not sure there is a complete cure for this, but something that helps, is help.  Help, sometimes hard to get and for many of us ladies really really hard to ask for or accept! But when I’m around family a lot, for instance, and other people can hold my baby or get my toddler food, the fog gets a little less thick.
Fortunately for me I have a husband who is kind of obsessed with taking care of me and is also resourceful and hard working, he really wants me to have help and a lot of times I really fight it. Sometimes its a matter of figuring out what will really help, but a lot of times I guess it’s pride. Recently I read this excellent blog entry that encouraged me further in receiving help.
http://hiddenwithyou.com/2013/11/14/desperate-housewives-no-laughing-matter-why-young-mothers-dont-need-god-they-need-help-2/
I encourage everyone to read it! Anyway, this year we have hired someone to help with cleaning. This was always totally outside my brain, but finally I weighed the stress and time and emotional energy housework takes and I realized if we can afford it and its on offer its worth it. I know everyone can’t and we can’t afford it in every season of life, but right now its available so I’m taking it unashamedly!  We just started this week,  I may report more later, but so far it has cleared up more of my brain than I’ve had since I got pregnant with Luke. It’s such a shocking relief to feel the entirety of the housework isn’t on me, it actually motivates me to clean too! It gives me breathing room. Thank you husband! Thank you God!
PS in case you are thinking about this, we found a great lady through word of mouth who is half the cost of one of the franchise companies. They were crazy expensive, but if you ask around you may be surprised to find something you can work into your budget through private individuals.

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One thought on “Mom Brain – the search for a cure

  1. I think that’s great that you hired a cleaner. You’ve employed someone who needs work, and they probably get more profit working for you than they would otherwise. Dave has mentioned the idea to me, which was never something I thought I’d want bc my parents always did most things themselves, but dave pointed out that we both work full time and we’re tired at the end of the day, so why shld we feel bad about hiring someone to clean? Idk, but I’m happy for you. I’m sure it’s a big relief n hopefully can free you from any guilt about standards of living and wifing. Glad David is taking care of you!

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