Halfway

20 weeks today! The halfway mark of pregnancy. Here’s what I’m feeling:
Leg cramps arggh! Everyday now, most nights and every morning. Especially when I wake up a little earlier than I need to and am trying to fall back to sleep. As usual doctors don’t really know why pregnant women are prone to these, nice to know there is still mystery in the world.
I think I still kind of look weirdly fat rather than pregnant a lot of the times, though sometimes if wearing the right shirt I start to see- whoa now I’m pregnant.  I really thought I’d be bigger for some reason especially given that its my second. I think I feel big! I feel totally big, especially when trying to sleep
Hungry, sickness is 99% gone and pregnavore often wants to eat now.
While I feel pregnant. This time around things feel oddly suspended. The idea of a new child is a little more abstract than last time. I just am consumed with the life already going on around me rather than only thinking about the new one inside of me like I did with the first. I think tomorrow at the ultrasound that may start to shift. In my mind a lot of preparation has just been filed under “after I find out the gender I’ll think of that”. So tomorrow may make it all more real and get my mind into baby prep mode. While I’m totally excited about it I’m a little apprehensive about getting to that point as well. There is something nice about living with thid fuzzy idea of a new baby as oppposed to getting everything ready, reread those baby books because I don’t remember what system worked in what month for leia in the first year, and oh man there will be two of them at the same time!

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