First Trimester, we meet again…

Well I suppose anyone reading knows that I am pregnant again, six weeks to be exact. Why did I tell everyone so early? First off I hate keeping secrets I really do I find it stressful. Secondly it’s happy news! Thirdly, miscarriages are sad no matter what and in some ways I wish we were more open about them anyway. I actually had a very very early miscarriage not long ago and this time feels so different it’s hard for me to let that fear hang over me and I don’t really like living like that anyway 🙂 Lastly, I feel awful and I feel it would be hard to hide why. There really is no sick like pregnant sick.
Part of me can’t believe I’m doing this again last time I was throwing up through week 24 not much of a “golden trimester” left for me. I’m just six weeks now and I feel sooo tired and nauseated tho not puking yet, and I seriously can’t comfortably button my jeans already?!
I’m determined to not quit doing fun things with leia but man one outing wipes me out!
Eating seems to take the edge off this time, for about five minutes. Of course I never really want to eat so I kind of force feed myself all day. And I mostly eat peanut butter toast.
I wish I didn’t feel like a big pile of bleck. I look around the house thinking oh I wish I’d done that before I got pregnant! Feeling life is going into some kind of stasis at least my productivity is. Time to learn the beauty of saying “enough”!
BUT I’m pregnant! And in the haze of the relentless ick that blessing persists. A new baby to love a whole new person in our family is coming. Now I know even more what a gift it is! I’m just trying to find the gift in the sick. Maybe it is learning to say enough? Maybe it’s learning to rest on Gods strength and not mine? Maybe it’s just another way to mature in the faith? Well ill take it Lord teach me to persist in the ick!

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2 thoughts on “First Trimester, we meet again…

  1. Ahhhh . . . . I remember the ick. Eating helped with Sammy. Usually for me it was grapes and cheese for some reason:) It’s hard but try not to worry about all the things you’re “not getting done”. I’ve spent most of my life worrying about those things and wish I could gain back all that time, not to complete those tasks but to not worry about not completing them;) This is the place the Lord has you in right now so just live in it.

    • You are so right Amy! My sister has a framed sign in her home that I have always loved………..
      Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
      empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
      hang out the washing and butter the bread,
      sew on a button and make up a bed.
      Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
      She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

      Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
      (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
      Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
      (pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
      The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
      and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
      but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
      Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
      (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

      The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
      for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
      So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
      I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

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