Thursday morning I am getting on a plane. That’s nothing new, why just a couple weeks ago we flew to Colorado and back. This time though, it will be just me, no baby! Leia will be staying with Daddy and I will be getting on a plane to San Jose for the weekend. For a long time this idea totally terrified me. I could break out into a sweat just thinking about it. It is kind of hard to describe, it really is more of a primal fear I had at the thought of leaving my baby overnight for the first time.
She is 15 months old though and it isn’t like she needs mommy milk anymore. Plus, she is staying with Daddy right? This totally terrified me too I have to admit, but now that it is upon me I am feeling less scared (I hope this confidence lasts through Thursday morning!). I can really see how this has been a good thing already. Just because it is hard doesn’t mean it isn’t good after all.
Anyway, David does a lot of seminars and personal development things. In his work as a coach and consultant it really comes into play, and he has always wanted me to go to this Tony Robbins seminar. Now, this wouldn’t be what I would think to do with a weekend off on my own, but it means a lot to David and so I didn’t want to just write it off. He wants me to go because, even though it isn’t Christian and we both know this stuff has to be held at somewhat of a cautious distance in our lives, it has helped him think a lot of things through and he wants me to have the same experience. So I want to honor his care for me and give it a shot, plus, this has been a period of a lot of change for me to be sure so a weekend where I can think about me and my life and my priorities is probably a good thing.
So, David has been practicing going solo with Leia with some long distance Leia days, put her to bed, and I have written down instructions (and am trying to think of any other things I might need to tell him, I am sure I will be sending texts!). This has been good. Leia adores Daddy and they always have a great time together, but it makes me feel good knowing he is getting into some of the nitty gritty details he often doesn’t have to deal with because I am a full time mom and he has a full time job outside the house. Plus, I got to see a movie and had lots of time out of the house 🙂
Also, I feel as a Mom I have to stretch myself sometimes with things that remind me to trust my kids to the Lord. I mean it may seem totally natural to have Dad take care of Leia and it is! But for me, where I am at as a first time Mom, having anyone take over for a weekend is a big deal, but I think it is a bridge I need to cross. I know these things are different for every family, some people leave kids overnight much earlier, some later, some people need proffessional childcare, etc, but we all need to learn to trust at different times and different ways, that the Lord is our Father and we cannot control everything all the time when it comes to our kids.
I am thankful that I get to leave Leia with Daddy for the first time I will be gone overnight. She loves him so much! She gets to stay in her home, and more or less her routine (though I have to allow Daddy some freedom there to be Daddy, I mean this is a special weekend so all my rules may not be followed to the letter 🙂 They get a one on one time they have never had and I am excited for both of them. I look forward to hearing all about it from David! (Not looking forward to what my house may look like afterwards, but as long as everyone is healthy I’m good!)
As for me, I am soooo excited to read on a plane! And I can have my complimentary beverage without worrying about Leia spilling it, and I don’t have to keep her from grabbing anyone in the seat next to us! I won’t do any cooking or cleaning and will have my bed made everyday!
I just have to let go of all the weird fears, like what if Leia gets mad at me or feels abandoned, what if things aren’t the same when I get back, what if she gets hurt or sick, etc etc. Daddy is there! That is enough, and our Father God is there too and that is definitely enough!