Every night when Leia finally succumbs to sleep I feel like I just got back from war. There is no really consistent pattern, falling asleep brings tears and screaming and staying asleep gets less and less likely each night. What happened? I just wish she could tell me why her crib, once the scene of hours of happy slumber, has become anathema to her? For three months she slept great and needed no cajoling to go to sleep, why????
I know sleep training is a controversial issue, and I am definitely not offering any answers, just venting about what I myself am doing. Please don’t judge! I am having a pretty rough go of it and am just doing what I feel I can. I feel like I have entered this new phase of mommyhood that makes you stop and go “what has happened to my life?”.
Basically here is the situation, my daughter cries when laid down in her crib. She has been fed, burped, given “Little Tummies”, changed, etc, she will just cry. Sometimes if she is happy for a bit in her crib, as soon as her eyes start to close she starts crying. It seems apparent she A. doesn’t want to let herself sleep, and B. doesn’t want mom to leave the room EVER! I mean she can look totally asleep and as I slip out of the door, “waaah” So what it has come to is me trying a gentle baby whisperer type cry it out thing. I let her cry for a few minutes go in pat her and say shhh (I try to do this without emotion, just quick and calming, not inviting play!) Sometimes it works more quickly than others. I try so hard to get her ready for bed when she first gets sleepy, but you know that doesn’t seem to help either. It just seems like there is no way for her to sleep without crying. Unless maybe I just let her sleep on my lap on the couch all night but sorry that isn’t sustainable!
I feel like C-R-A-P when she goes to sleep in such turmoil and I have to let her kind of deal with it, but seriously nothing else works. I have even tried the things i didn’t want to make a habit, like feeding her to sleep or rocking her to sleep, but she just cries when she gets close to sleep,sometimes even in my lap, or she gets laid in bed, she just cries! I am just hoping I can get her through this and we will somehow be better off because of it in the future. It is so hard because I feel bad no matter what happens, if I keep her up and don’t make her sleep in her crib I feel bad, if I keep going in and comforting her I feel bad, if she falls asleep after crying I feel bad. So tough!
Now it seems the fussiness is following us into middle of the night wakings though, and not just when she goes to bed. (Middle of the night waking which we did not use to have) I feel pretty powerless! I am praying and I know this will eventually pass.
In happier news, Sophie the Giraffe arrived today! Leia actually took it in her hands and started chewing on it! This was the first toy I was able to get her to “play” with so far 🙂 FYI Sophie is this super popular baby toy from France, a little squeaky rubber giraffe babies seem to love. So far she is a hit here 🙂 Leia is tiny (only 9.5 pounds at 4 months – the doctor is having us monitor her weight more closely to be safe) but she rolls both ways with ease and has great head control. I think her mobility could be part of her sleep issues, she is ALL over her crib at night, rolling and moving every which way. I think she wakes herself up with all the moving. Oh well, happy all is quiet on the western front for the moment….