Mommytime brings two things to my mind. (Well three things because it also makes me think of “Hammertime”) Mommy time can be those rare and sought after moments when I do what I want to do on my time. Pure mommytime like this is quite rare. Sometimes there are psudeo mommy moments when Leia is happy in her swing or lying on the bed and I can eat or just do something using two hands, but there is a tension because you never know when it will end, and you are always on the clock because feeding her is always right around the corner! Then there is real mommytime, in general this is when Leia goes to bed or goes down for a real solid nap. Yeah, there is still a timer but there isn’t a constant checking on her and never knowing when she will cry. At about 8 pm she goes to sleep and unless something is really off I know she won’t wake up and I will go in around 10-11 and give her her “dream feed” (this is me feeding her when she is basically asleep, I hear it doesn’t work for everyone but it seems to work for us and on normal nights after the dream feed she sleeps from the time I feed her till 4:30 or so AM! 🙂 )This is bubble bath time or movie watching, or even reading! (I find reading challenging as a mom to a newborn, it is really awkward during breastfeeding because she still likes to pull off and change sides a lot) I also try and do some kind of devotionals during a nap or bed time, bad thing about mommyhood, devotional time is tough because it is impossible to not be on call all the time, but good thing I feel like my prayer life has actually improved since having her, late night feedings are great times to pray, it seems the only thing to do then. Of course, this is also prime time to spend time with David as well. So even though I get up at 4:30 I find I stay up a little later these days.
The other thing that comes to mind is this whole new rhythm to life. I think I have mentioned before that time is redefined when you become the primary caregiver to a newborn. It is no longer measured by working hours or tasks and deadlines, it just kind of flows. Overall, I like it. There are times when it gets monotonous, but in general I really appreciate this time of new priorities and seeing life pass by in a new way. I really am trying to learn to not be defined by to do lists, because nine times out of ten I don’t get things done at the speed I would like and most of the things I do are never really done! For instance, laundry- it is a good thing this is not my least favorite chore because there is a never ending stream of laundry! I feel good when baskets are not overflowing, but there is never a real sense of completion in that department. The awesome and challenging thing is that everything takes second place to baby Leia. When she is active and alert how can I ignore her smiles and coos?! So even though sometimes I feel “lazy” I know that part of my job as mom or main job as a mom is to enjoy her and engage her and interact with her every chance I get! I really kind of look forward to everyday with her, I can’t really say that about my other jobs 🙂
Of course there are the moments when she is screaming and I feel powerless to help her, or the days when I feel kind of stir crazy and tired of our normal outings, and the moments when I really wish she could sit in the car while I just run in somewhere! I remember before being a Mom, if I was thirsty I could just pull over anywhere and grab the beverage of my choice, not I have to really want something to go through getting her out of the car.Then there is the choice at every outing, is this a baby carrier type thing, or a grab the carseat and carry it in thing, or a carseat/stroller outing, or should I just carry her? Life is in a lot of ways way more complicated, but it is definitely better!!