Lately, the movie thing has been an issue in our house. For better or worse David and I have always been movie buffs. If you have been to our home you probably noticed the huge TV that is basically as big as our little house. The people are perhaps bigger than lifesize when you are watching it. Many times people say things like “Oh we have to have a superbowl party here” or something like that, to which David and I say “sorry we don’t have cable or basic TV, this is for movies” (also if you know us very well you know neither of us like sports with balls). Anyway, David has been sneaking and seeing movies in theaters on his own and I tried not to let it bother me, he didn’t see anything I really wanted to see anyway, but something about his ability to do that and my inability to do that irked me I admit. I wouldn’t trade my role as a mom at all and I love the special connection I have with my newborn through all the feeding, etc I do, but hey I wanted to see Scream 4 darn it.
Believe it or not I really do like action movies, even totally stupid ones. I think I inherited this from my Grandmother. We always saw movies together up until I left home, and she loves action movies. David does too and well there is a reason our dog is named Arnold. We have followed the entire Fast and the furious Franchise and had been debating David seeing the fifth installment by himself because Leia is too small for me to leave her for a two hour movie. Then I heard about Monday morning Mommy movies. A theatre in Glendale opens there doors at 11 AM on Mondays for moms (or dads) with babies, and what do you know, this Monday the movie was “Fast Five”! So for our second adventure out of the house alone we went to the movies. How hilarious is it that Fast Five was her first time in a theater!? Of course she slept through the whole thing and if she was at all old enough to watch it I would let her nowhere near it, but still… She was so good, she slept through all the tire screeching, gunshots, hilariously bad dialogue and Paul Walker’s horrible acting!
Every little adventure with her feels like something big to me. I have been caught a little off guard at how sort of handicapped I feel sometimes. Sometimes I do things with only one hand even when I am not holding her because I just forget I actually have two hands! It seems you can never really be in a hurry about doing anything because a baby can always stop you in your tracks when they need something, and of course going anywhere with a baby is slow going too, packing all the stuff up, putting them in their car seat and stopping to take care of them along the way. When I thought of being a stay at home Mom I admit I pictured myself being some kind of perfect cross between June Cleaver and Martha Stewart. I would have time to manage my household perfectly and bake everything I ever wanted. I am sure I will get into more of a routine, but I haven’t baked a thing since she came. The funny thing is, this is not nearly as frustrating to me as it would have been before Leia came. When I look at her face I find it a lot easier to let some of that go and caring for her is such a worthy priority I don’t feel so guilty about the lack of time I have for other things right now. I don’t even feel too bad about taking naps when I can or seeing a movie or going to the park, because i see that as part of my responsibility too. If I don’t do those things and do a bunch of tasks in their place I won’t be as prepared to take care of her when I need to. I hope I can hold on to that a bit, and not return to my normal task oriented self.