Three more days teaching elementary school. I don’t think this will sink in for a while because it is just impossible to really reflect on the end of four years at Judson International School while I am so pregnant and wondering if I could have this baby anytime soon! It is a very strange week because since it is my last I have no lessons to plan for next week and no real grading to speak of, we just turned in grades for the last batch of report cards, so when the kids are occupied by art or recess or whatever I don’t have too much to do. Today is my last staff meeting though, I have been waiting for that one! Meetings, bleck!! I look forward to bringing Leia around and showing her to my class in a few weeks. Will I miss work though? Hmmm, I kind of don’t think so. I have always had mixed feelings about what I do, I am such a homeschool fan sometimes it is hard for me to reconcile my passion for that with what I do at work. I like the kids, but I am definitely ready to nurture my own children now. Plus, getting my MA in teaching English last year and the year before kind of burnt me out, working full time and going to grad school full time was a lot (how glad am I that I did not get pregnant until that craziness was over??!!!). I know I am really ready for this new season and calling! Also I can’t wait to run errands when other people are at work. One of my favorite things is going to Trader Joe’s in the summer at say 11 AM on a Tuesday, I just want to skip through the aisles past the couple of old ladies and Moms of small children that are there. Such a feeling of freedom! I won’t have to pack my lunch anymore, that is cool too. Leia and Arnold and I can walk when we feel like it, not a rushed walk at 6:30 or 7:00 (or sometimes 7:20 when I am really pushing it) in the morning before work. I am so excited for her being old enough to enjoy field trips and things and little day adventures with me (not that I want her to grow too fast, but I know she will!).
If I had to bet I would say she was coming sooner than later, but I know I really have no idea! I have never done this before and it is so different for everyone, so all the getting ready my body is doing sometimes makes me feel like surely she is coming out soon, but I know I could be wrong! I am to the point where all the necessary things are done, bags packed, room ready, car seat in car. I am just trying to stay on top of light housework and napping when I can at this point to be ready for labor. Having all the baby stuff ready makes me extra antsy though! I just keep wondering what her little face will look like, how much hair will she have or not have, what color will her eyes be (I know it will be a while before we will know that one) and imagining holding her.
I feel like I have been preggers forever! I really don’t remember what it felt like to be normal. I feel like an expert on pregnancy symptoms now because it seems to me there were none I have not experienced! Even a couple I have been like “oh well at least I didn’t get that” and then bam a couple weeks later I got that too! What a crazy ride, it is strange to think it could be over at anytime. It is beautiful having her inside of me to be sure, and I am trying to keep that in mind. We will never be so close again after all, but I am so ready to meet her and see who she is and let her start being her own little person!
I feel like I get stares when I am out in public or walk my dog, as if people think if they look long enough they will see the baby just fall out or something? It could be all in my head, I mean I do feel like she is just going to fall out sometimes when I am walking. No one has said anything really inappropriate to me, no strangers have rubbed my belly either so that’s good.