I am not a big New Year’s person. Never been into making resolutions and things like that. I am excited about this year though. We have had a good 2010, finding a church home we can really commit to and getting pregnant are a couple of the big blessings we have had. 2011 promises to be a huge year for us because it holds the promise of a new baby. David and I have both really been struck lately with how ready we are to enter this new phase of our life together. There is a momentum we are just caught up in and it’s very powerful. God’s timing is perfect and we are very open to this new season. That is not to say I feel totally ready to be the most perfect put together Mom ever, I know that parenthood will be like nothing I have ever experienced. Similar to marriage, it is just something you have to experience to understand I think. I am sure I will have hair pulling out days and stir crazy days with my new baby (pulling out my hair not her pulling out hers or me pulling out hers of course) and I anticipate motherhood being the hardest job I have ever had on several levels, I mean growing up isn’t meant to be easy. When I met David and we were engaged jumping into marriage felt like it was the natural next step, a step that if I didn’t take it I would be not growing as I should, I would be sinfully clinging to an old phase of life God didn’t want me in anymore. For all the fearfulness it is easy to have about being a parent (and the paranoia, I am starting to get crazy new Mom syndrome where I wake up thinking things like “what if there is a big earthquake in the middle of the night and Baby Leia is in her crib and I am in bed and I can’t get to her!”), there is this inescapable feeling of peace and joy for both myself and David as we embrace a total life change in 2011. We know Leia will change our world forever in ways we can’t even imagine now, but we can’t imagine her not coming! We are just at a place where it’s time to grow and change and doing anything else would be weird and wrong. When we first got married over six years ago, we were both pretty skittish about having kids to be honest, but now to think of our marriage without making babies would seem so empty to us both. We are just so excited for her to come and I love it 🙂
Now I just need some patience. I feel like everyone is having their babies and I am left alone on pregnant lady Island. I am not sure if it helps that I will be going to work until she comes, on one hand it keeps me busy I guess, on the other since her coming coincides with me getting to not go to work it makes me that much more antsy for her to come, not to mention wondering how difficult work is going to be as I move into the third trimester discomfort. Still unless she pops out early (which would rock) April 8th is the day I am planning on as my last, and really that just isn’t very far away at all!
So now to wait and expect and get ready (made major headway on clearing out her room this break, ready for her things to fill it!). I know that God designed the length of pregnancy the way he did with a purpose and I am sure these next three months are not a waste of time at all.