Pregnant lady “exercise”

Before I was pregnant I was in pretty good shape, I mean I have never been a marathon runner and I never understood being addicted to exercise at all, but for a girl who would much rather make and eat cookies than go to the gym I had a nice fitness routine going. Also, I was pretty conscious about my eating habits (now I have a real ICEE issue, hadn’t had an ICEE since I was a small girl and all of the sudden I just want them soooo bad, why???). Anyway, the awful queasiness of the first trimester really obliterated my exercise routine and eating in general. I am starting to try and get back in the saddle so to speak. I am walking Arnold more, or on longer walks, which I know he appreciates. And I have tried a couple of times now to do my prenatal work out DVD which I bought when I first found out I was pregnant (and then stayed in the package for the first trimester). It is just crazy to me how hard it is, because even when I was not in a good fitness routine I am not sure this would have really made me break a sweat before I was pregnant. It is just really basic simple little movements, no real aerobics, no P90X, but aaah I have yet to  complete the whole thing! Just another one of those things that makes you go “What has happened to me? Where is my body?”  It’s crazy how easily I lose my breath and how doing barely anything makes my heart rate rise. The workout lady is always saying we are not supposed to pant to, and to slow down if that happens and I have noticed there are a lot more water breaks in this workout than in her non pregnant lady DVD (I do recommend her pregnant workout and her other DVDs- Erin ODonnel).  The whole thing is really nothing like the workout DVDs  I was used to before the bump, but it feels so much harder than all my real workouts before!

The middle name thing is hard. David and I had first names picked out on our honeymoon, but we never really thought of middle names until now. My current top pick is Leia Elizabeth. Both names are biblical and of Hebrew origin, I enjoyed studying Hebrew more than any other dead language I studied ( I hated Greek). Elizabeth was my Grandma’s middle name too. We also are thinking of Leia Olivia, we sort of considered some LOTR names for the middle name, but just feel it is too much for us. I just can’t do too weird of a name, we are already giving her a unique spelling after Princess Leia after all. Maybe a name will magically come to us that we both just feel sure about (but I like Leia Elizabeth more and more I think).

Now, just trying to focus on all I am thankful for instead of being nervous or anxious. It is easy for me to start feeling worried about being prepared, having all the baby things we need, right now I don’t really have anything to be honest (though really what does a baby absolutely need? probably not too much more than Mom and Dad really, but I would like for her to have a bed and some clothes 🙂 ) and having some kind of a room ready, reading all the parenting books I wanted to read before she comes, having some kind of idea, though not an obsessive one, over the labor and delivery thing (which reminds me I need to sign up for a class!) and trying not to worry about the tiny fact that you know she has to come out of me and all. It is just a lot really, so much responsibility, so many things I don’t know how to do yet or what they will be like. BUT I am so thankful not only for the fact that we get to have Leia entrusted to us, but the home we are bringing her into ( ready or not).  I am so thankful that she gets to come into a loving home with a Mom and a Dad committed to being her Mom and Dad and most of all committed to each other in a stable marriage. As you become a parent I guess it is natural to think of your own past, and the circumstances in which I came into the world were so different. There was so much grace in my life that I see now looking back and I had such a loving, brave Mom, but boy I am so happy to have a Godly husband to partner with in bringing up our girl, so glad that the our marriage is so happy and loving and that Leia gets to see that and benefit from what David and I have. I am so grateful that we both know the most important thing for Leia is not money, education, looks or brains, but is the message of the cross. I can’t give her faith, but I can rest in the fact that David and I are in agreement that our main job as parents is to teach her about grace and truth and disciple her while she is in our house (though I think she will have a pretty cool education too 😉 . So I am nervous about things of course, but I am so excited and grateful and happy, etc etc etc!




We have contact!

Somewhere around 4 in the morning my baby woke me up with her movements! I am pretty sure I felt some movement before, but this was really definite and I could also feel it with my hand. What can you say?               Honestly, I have had some really unique experiences, traveled the world and not just touristy Mexico and Europe, but some freaky places  like Syria and Dubai, lived in Beirut, and explored China and South America, and life in any country is never dull with my husband David of course, I mean I think sometimes he is really the world’s most “interesting” man, not the guy in those beer commercials. Having a little human being moving around inside of you, with a brain and all the things that makes us who we are, swimming around in you, totally dependent on you, and somehow created from you and your husband, well this experience tops them all I have to say. Maybe seeing her face to face will top it, but feeling her kick is quite mind blowing. I love it, I love having yet another reminder she is always with me during the day (and night) and it is a much nicer reminder than the throwing up that is for sure.

As I get to know this person as best I can from out here, through knowing that hey she is a girl, giving her a name (still up in the air about the middle name, we had first names since our honeymoon we failed to think about middle names then and now it is impossible!) and feeling her kick, I love that God is teaching me more about sacrifice than at any other point in my life. I really can understand why God loves to use the role of Father and parent to relate to us, at least I understand it more now.  I really already know I would sacrifice my life for this little one, do anything so she could grow into who she should be. Teaching her and discipling her is already my top priority, making sure I am who I should be so I can be a model for her to follow, that influences me even now. I thought I sacrificed myself for other people before, but now that I am faced with Leia, someone so dependent and fragile and needy I am prepared to give so much more of myself than ever before to another person and oddly enough, at least so far, it feels less like a sacrifice  than silly things I have done for people in the past, my love for her is just that strong and thinking of her hurting or thinking of her choosing a wrong or dangerous path already breaks my heart so much, I will do whatever I can to give her the tools to go the right way.  And then I think of that fact that God is my father and I am His child, and how much more intense is his love and care for me….WOW!

It’s also really fun to see David starting to be able to feel more in tune to what is going on. It is so hard for guys who don’t carry the baby I think to really feel like their is a person in there. For months I was just really sick and miserable looking to him. Now he is connecting more to the baby and getting more excited it is awesome.  I am so excited to raise a daughter with my husband! I didn’t have a father for much of my childhood and  I just  love that my girl will have David in her life to make her feel safe and be a model of a husband and a Daddy for her.

OK that was a long emotional entry, enough for now 🙂

Research and Body Pillows

I am 19 weeks today, almost halfway there, which means “yay!!!” and  also “wait I have so much to think about before the baby gets here, and stuff to accumulate!”

I am very excited about the body pillow I just ordered from Amazon, I hope it is as comfortable as it sounds, because over the last couple of weeks I have noticed it is getting really hard to be comfortable at all. I really noticed it sitting in a movie theatre, I act like my hyper boy students, I can’t sit still, but not because I have had too much sugar or have ADHD (which according to a great seminar I was at today can very well just be a product of the American sugar laden diet, but anyway…) but because I cannot be comfortable in a chair for more than 30 seconds at a time without moving! The same goes for lying in a bed as well, which is more what the body pillow is for.  If it isn’t one thing it is another with being pregnant, the nausea finally gets manageable, I won’t say gone because sometimes when I wake up I still throw up, but I hardly even notice it anymore, and now it is true morning sickness, its just a little in the morning and then I am pretty much fine in that department the rest of the day and evening. So fine I can live with the few minutes in the morning thing, it was the 24/7 thing that was getting really old. So yeah, nausea on the backburner, squished bladder, heartburn, and the impossibility of sitting or lying comfortably has moved to the front. I take heartburn over hurling! 🙂

I have been at a Christian educator’s conference this weekend (writing this in the hotel lobby waiting to head home). It has been more difficult than I thought just because of all the sitting in chairs for long periods of time, but today I went to some really great sessions on brain development and one even focused a bit on infant brain development and how crucial it is to keep kids from developing learning issues when they are school age.  So no pressure I just have to keep my baby from developing learning problems that will affect them their whole life!  One main thing I picked up, don’t overstimulate! so if you plan on seeing my baby during those first 6 weeks of its life, don’t get all up in its face with toys and loud noises please. I am avoiding toys with lights and sounds, except the instructor recommended the teddy bear that plays the Mom’s heartbeat sound for baby as a soother (I found a really cute lamb version on Amazon). I am going to read a book called “Building Babies Better” to help me create the right environment for baby and pick through the maze of consumer goods marketed for parents. I am a researcher by nature as my Mom said so I just can’t go into this uninformed. I don’t want to be crazy or obsessive, but boy if there are things I can do to keep my child from being like some of the kids I see in school someday, well then I will do some homework now. Perhaps, I need to work on some control issues, I mean I know you can’t control who your child is, but I do want to give them the best start I can. Brain research is always really interesting to me, and so much of what I heard today made a lot of sense, and the idea that common problems kids have in school are linked to brain development even in the womb means I want to be aware of the little things that might help my child develop soundly.

I hope I can keep some of this info I am gleaning in my head when I am sleep deprived and changing ten diapers a day 🙂 Good thing I am not doing this alone, I mean David of course, but also knowing that ultimately my kids belong to God and he has enough grace for me and for them everyday!


Make way for the Princess (probably)

Well I haven’t written in a while. I think I have been waiting until I had an idea about the gender, everyone keeps asking and all. We went to the doctor yesterday and she  said it looked like a girl, no sign of boy parts. She said 60% and told us to wait until our formal ultrasound on No. 22nd to be more certain. She also said they hesitate more on committing with girls, because it is easier for something to be hiding from view and our baby wouldn’t open its little legs quite wide enough to be certain.

I think I have mentioned I had been having to stop myself from referring to the baby as a she for weeks now, so for what it is worth I feel like that was what my intuition was saying. I am trying to stay calm and cool just in case something reveals itself on the 22nd, but I am definitely thinking girl thoughts and thinking Leia when I mentally refer to the baby, or sometimes when I speak to the baby out loud. I know that there have been a few cases of people being told the wrong gender (though I get an ultrasound with every doctor’s visit, which wasn’t always the norm, so I am kind of doubtful they could keep getting it wrong up until the delivery room and those ultrasounds are so clear now)  and I am sure calling the baby by the wrong name for a few weeks in the womb didn’t have any horrible lasting effects anyway. I am sure if I need to make a mental shift in ten days I will be able to do that. I mean it is not as though I won’t be excited about a boy too, and I know I will love whatever pops out in April so very much, but yeah it is just too much between the last ultrasound and my intuitions to not feel like this is my daughter right now, so much so that I am just going with it for the most part 🙂 Now, I am not running around buying everything pink of course, beside I definitely want to do this again, and I don’t want all our big ticket items to be so girly a future son could not use them as well. I will wait for Nov 22nd before I put gender specific items on any registries and things like that.

It is hard to describe, but I have a peaceful joy right now about the whole gender thing and I of course feel giddy when I think of a baby girl! Not in such a way that I would be heartbroken by any means if by some chance it is not a girl, a boy would just be a different kind of adventure, but I feel so happy to think of having a daughter. I feel I have so much I want to share with her and so much I want do with her. So though there is a tentativeness still in the air I am having a hard time being stressed about it surprisingly and feeling increasingly happy about the baby inside of me, girl or boy.

Also, just about to hit week 18 tomorrow and the nausea is pretty much gone. For about a week now I have a little uh oh time in the morning when I wake up, but for the most part am pretty stable through the day and evening, so that is AWESOME. Now I still eat kind of weird, and get really tired, as well as the addition of heartburn to my daily routine, but soooo much better and I am so relieved about that.

Now, to work for an hour in my closet. I am going to box up all my summer clothes (overdue) as well as all the fall/winter stuff I can’t wear due to pregnancy so all that should remain is my few maternity clothes and the few things that are not maternity but I can still wear. The idea is a pretty empty closet with just the things I wear now through postpartum transitional time. I am wondering if it will look like I have hardly any clothes once that happens (though I am gaining a few more things, ebay I am finding is a great place for cheapo maternity things as well). I need to share my closet, at least for a while, with the baby though and so I need to make room, especially since I am probably sharing with a little princess Leia!

confessions of a pregnant shopper

I had a pretty good night last night. Today has been more or less queasy all day, but last night was pretty good. When I am not nauseated I am hungry. I managed to stop by the grocery store on my way home from work. I am going to share my secret food shame on this blog. I am embarrassed to go to the grocery store anymore. One reason being that all my “real” groceries are delivered through my organic local grocery delivery service SPUD ( which I highly recommend. So all my produce, dairy and meat comes to my door, so all the healthy normal stuff. I only venture to the grocery store anymore when I have to, that is when I have to buy the random and few things I want to eat when not nauseated and cannot get from my healthy organic grocer.  So it makes me feel a little weird at the check out.

Yesterday here is what made it into my cart, two cases of strawberry kiwi snapple, Ben and Jerry’s (chocolate brownie and my old stand by chubby hubby- no matter how bad I feel I find that ice cream is always edible to me, or milkshakes for that matter and makes me feel better, dear Lord please don’t let me get gestational diabetes!), and two boxes of frozen soft pretzels, that is my new thing, I either it soft pretzels with mustard or cream cheese when I am not eating a slice of peanut butter bread for dinner. I think that was it, I forgot to get spaghettios (why would I want those why????). I have not gained any weight, I am still ten pounds lighter than I started out at because I only really enjoy eating even these things every now and then. I am getting my prenatals in more because I can keep them down a little easier these days, and I try to put fruit in there between the weirdness. I drink a lot of milk still as well (though I know not everyone agrees of the healthiness of that, but frankly I don’t care, it was all that kept me going at times during the first trimester).  So there you have it, my strange and inhuman eating habits. I feel a bit like Gollum, looking disgusted at Sam’s wholesome hobbit food and crawling off into the shadows to eat some raw slimey thing (in my case soft pretzels from the microwave or a slice of bread with peanut butter on it) so not what I was planning on, but right now it just feels like I am doing what I can do. I hope to eat like an adult again one day soon!