I feel like I have been on a roller coaster, physically and emotionally this past week. At the beginning of the week I just felt I was going to turn that corner, feeling a little bit better for a couple days. Then Friday I came down with a cold (which now I think might be some kind of allergies, because it was gone yesterday but seems to be back today) and I just felt awful at work. I threw up three times that day, once at work, which really made me emotional for some reason. It seems that my throwing up time has somehow always missed work, but with the coughing and the cold it just happened and I just wanted to go crawl in a hole not deal with a room full of kids or anything else for that matter. ( I even cried a little bit at my desk) I felt really discouraged, having thought things were getting better, then to feel worse than ever all of a sudden.
I went to care group anyway that night, got prayer, and yesterday though still mega nauseated, the cold seemed to be gone. This morning i took my dog to the Wiggle Waggle Walk. It’s an event to benefit the Pasadena Humane Society, when I signed up for it and raised money, I thought it would be good for me to get some exercise and be around dogs which I love. Today was an unusually hot morning though, bad for both myself and my dog who just dies in hot weather. He collapsed in any muddy or shady spot he could find. To make matters worse, he was so wound up and crazy at the beginning because there were hundreds of dogs there he actually peed on my leg! I was waiting in line to register and I feel a burst of warmth on my leg and Arnold is peeing on me! I was stunned and grossed out. The heat and excitement of all that made me feel pretty craptacular, I made it through church but boy am I done!
One thing I like is that people now assume my stomach is a pregnant bump. I kind of doubt that it really is yet, maybe a little, but I haver never had a flat stomach, even at my most ridiculously skinny in high school when I was not eating and wearing a size 4 or some nonsense like that, even then my stomach was not flat. But now if a shirt doesn’t totally flounce over my tummy, it doesn’t matter I just look pregnant and I am!
I know better and exciting times are just around the corner, I am just a couple days away from twelve weeks. I am dying to feel the baby start moving and to get that 18 week ultra sound and stick a name to this little one! I wish they would give us an ultrasound at each visit I know the baby has already changed and grown so much since the last one. I am reading to the baby already, though he or she probably can’t really hear me yet. We are going to read The Chronicles of Narnia to begin with 🙂 I anticipate the growing bond between us over the next few months and it helps to get through this time. I know I am so close, it just feels like I am not some days.