Birth plan? what the what?

My Mom had four kids, I swear she never said anything about having a “birth plan”? When you get pregnant you suddenly find yourself swimming in a sea of opinions about having a baby, very emotional ones too. I want advice, I mean I don’t know what I am doing here, but I am almost afraid to ask people anymore because just mention your expecting and you could be in for a litany of overwhelming info and emotional women telling you what you should and shouldn’t do. Half of the things they talk about I have to go google later (like a birth plan, I swear I had never heard of one, but apparently if you don’t have one you suck!).

I feel guilty that I just can’t care. Most of the time when people talk to me here is what I am thinking “don’t throw up girl!”, that is what I am thinking pretty much all the time actually.  So I just am finding it hard to read all the books I planned on reading and watch all the documentaries I should on all things baby! I can’t make dinner so no I don’t really want to research midwives right now. I feel guilty about this, I want to want to talk about and obsess over these things, but I am sick all the time! Plus, its overwhelming as it is and you just aren’t sure who to listen to. There is so much advice on so many things and people just seem to feel so strongly about things, like you will be a horrible person if you do X, you really need to think about X.  I need to stop hurling ladies, thats what I need right now!

So for now this is my “birth plan”  – Get it out of me! Really, hasn’t this worked for thousands of women through the centuries anyway. I just want to hold that baby, whether the doctors cut or I push I really don’t care, I just want it to come out! (though i gotta be honest, the surgical procedure sounds a little easier than pushing it out of my body at times, hate on me if you want, but I am just saying I don’t think a C section is the end of the world).  I am sure in my second trimester I will become a nut, doing nothing but research, maybe I will have this elaborate birth plan, I want to give birth on a mountain top, and I want tribal dancing all around me and when it comes out David is to hold it up like Simba in the Lion King, or something like that, but for now I just want to get through this first trimester and daydream about holding that baby,  however it comes out!

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10 thoughts on “Birth plan? what the what?

  1. Amanda, don’t stress about what other folks are telling you. And take my advice, the less reading you do, probably the better. Don’t get me wrong, I think that it is helpful to know what’s coming, but there is too much information out there. I think you have to find a balance. It IS possible to over read and research on this subject. I would talk to a couple of close friends and ask for resources when you’re ready. You are always welcome to pick my brain if you want 🙂

    As far as a birth plan, mine never really went beyond how I felt about medication and various medical procedures. What I have found from my own experience and talking to friends is that nothing ever goes according to plan when it comes to labor. You’ll hate what you thought would be helpful and vice versa. Just fill your tool box and you’ll figure out how to deal with labor as it comes. Just remain flexible. I think the downside of a detailed birth plan is the potential for disappointment when everything goes differently than you imagined. You’ve got the right idea already, the goal is a healthy baby! I’m so excited for you guys. Our little one is squirming around like crazy in here. I can’t wait for you to feel your little one moving around.

    • Thanks so much Rachel! I know this girl who seems to not be able to get over the fact that her birth plan was violated at the hospital, I mean she has a healthy little one whats the big deal? I don’t know I know its an emotional experience, but I think maybe I don’t want a really detailed birth plan. I don’t want to be a total control freak about it you know? I would still kind of like to trust doctors in some way? I am sure it will come out in the end 🙂 I of course will read more about it etc as I get a little further along, but thanks for the support and advice. Its just so easy for people to make you feel lost or silly, everybody I talk to seems to be a midwife or something! I wish you guys were closer! I will probably pick your brain electronically though!

  2. I really enjoy your “Get it out of me!” birth plan. Makes a lot of sense. 😉 Also, I did both as far as went through labor and had a C-section. Oh Mr. C-section is NOT bad at all. The only people who complain about them are the ones who have not had one.

  3. the whole idea of hoisting the baby up like simba made me laugh hysterically. i know nothing about babies or birthing plans but i know you’re a smart cookie and will figure it all out.

  4. Ha ha ha, I love that comment, you’re always just trying not to hurl! I know you’re pretty miserable, but that was hilarious. (Also the Simba thing made me lol.) Actually, when I read this post it made me think so much of my sister when she was pregnant, especially the first time, and how snooty and annoying people were, and intrusive, about giving advice to her about pregnancy and child rearing. She got totally fed up because apparently these people are complete nazis (and of course no one agrees with anyone else either), and finally became comfortable with her own birthing decisions and parenting style and stopped worrying about it.
    Likewise about the C-section/natural birth thing. She had an emergency C for her first child and had a perfectly fine birth experience, so when the second one came around she was very happy not attempting a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean), but her mother-in-law kept harassing her to take lamaze and try for “natural” labor. You have to do what’s right for you, and that includes the decisions you make now as well as having the prerogative to change you mind as the situation changes! You’re totally right, the baby will come out one way or another and it’s what comes after that that really matters. I know you and David will be great parents and will have lovely (dare I say?) children!

    • Thanks Denise 🙂 I guess everyone gets too much advice! I am just going to try and take it a day at a time, and seriously just not hurling now is at the top of the list. So crazy, to be fine for a while and then bam! Oh well, and yeah as long as nothing horrible happens I do plan on going through this more than once :\ I definitely want more than one.

  5. Some people are waaaay over the top….just think, if she has a “birth plan” that leaves no room for errors, then what is the rest of her life like? Not to mention if the child isn”t potty trained at an exact hour or crawling or walking or reading or you name it. Relax, you are going to be a great mom, because you are a great person who thinks on her feet and makes good, strong decisions. Now, go eat a cracker 🙂 xoxo

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