My Mom had four kids, I swear she never said anything about having a “birth plan”? When you get pregnant you suddenly find yourself swimming in a sea of opinions about having a baby, very emotional ones too. I want advice, I mean I don’t know what I am doing here, but I am almost afraid to ask people anymore because just mention your expecting and you could be in for a litany of overwhelming info and emotional women telling you what you should and shouldn’t do. Half of the things they talk about I have to go google later (like a birth plan, I swear I had never heard of one, but apparently if you don’t have one you suck!).
I feel guilty that I just can’t care. Most of the time when people talk to me here is what I am thinking “don’t throw up girl!”, that is what I am thinking pretty much all the time actually. So I just am finding it hard to read all the books I planned on reading and watch all the documentaries I should on all things baby! I can’t make dinner so no I don’t really want to research midwives right now. I feel guilty about this, I want to want to talk about and obsess over these things, but I am sick all the time! Plus, its overwhelming as it is and you just aren’t sure who to listen to. There is so much advice on so many things and people just seem to feel so strongly about things, like you will be a horrible person if you do X, you really need to think about X. I need to stop hurling ladies, thats what I need right now!
So for now this is my “birth plan” – Get it out of me! Really, hasn’t this worked for thousands of women through the centuries anyway. I just want to hold that baby, whether the doctors cut or I push I really don’t care, I just want it to come out! (though i gotta be honest, the surgical procedure sounds a little easier than pushing it out of my body at times, hate on me if you want, but I am just saying I don’t think a C section is the end of the world). I am sure in my second trimester I will become a nut, doing nothing but research, maybe I will have this elaborate birth plan, I want to give birth on a mountain top, and I want tribal dancing all around me and when it comes out David is to hold it up like Simba in the Lion King, or something like that, but for now I just want to get through this first trimester and daydream about holding that baby, however it comes out!